Twelve Signs That You Are an Epicurean Voluptuary
The dictionary defines a voluptuary as one devoted to sensory pleasures. The thesaurus goes even further, comparing a voluptuary to a hedonist, a sybarite, and even a glutton!
When it comes to food, there is limitless opportunity for stimulation of all the senses. Fresh fruits and vegetables offer a visual array colors and textures, making them feasts for the eyes. Why else are they the subjects of so many still life paintings? The olfactory senses may be titillated equally by the intoxicating aromas of freshly brewed coffee, roasting peanuts, baking cookies, or grilled steak. Textures also play an important role in the enjoyment of food; there is crunchy, creamy, flaky, chewy, melt-in-the-mouth, crispy, dense, airy, unctuous, and so on. The seductive sounds of sizzling bacon or popping corn serve only to increase our anticipation for the consumption of these foods. And then of course there is the sense of taste, on which volumes have been written and needs no further explanation.
Well, when it comes to food and drink, if the voluptuary shoe fits…….
Here are 12 indications that you are an epicurean voluptuary.
1. Your kitchen cupboards contain at least 7 types of vinegar, three kinds of oil, 5 different mustards, and an incredible assortment of hot sauces, jams, and ethnic condiments.
2. When ordering a meal in a restaurant, you insist that your dining companion order different items than you so that you may both try more dishes by tasting each other’s food. If said companion does order the same thing as you, you immediately change your order to something else.
3. You will taste anything once, even if it includes insects, offal, mold or fungus.
4. Your non-foodie tablemates are slightly embarrassed by your exuberant enjoyment and continual commentary of the food you are eating.
5. For your birthday you prefer a gift of a fancy kitchen appliance over sparkling jewelry or high-tech electronics.
6. You plan your vacations around gastronomically rich destinations
7. When traveling to other cities on business, you brave the worst parts of town to visit the local hole-in-wall eateries known for serving the best of the regional fare.
8. You enthusiastically argue the relative merits of wet versus dry barbecued ribs, or the differences between pie crusts made with lard, shortening or butter, or other culinary debates, with the same ardor and emotion that most people exhibit when discussing politics or religion.
9. You actually read
cookbooks, cover to cover, like novels.
10. You scoff at all the public criticism of fat. You support fat’s fine culinary reputation by using butter liberally and saving leftover bacon fat and duck fat in jars.
11. The souvenirs you bring home from your travels are primarily foods and beverages; and on more than one occasion you’ve sweated anxiously through Customs, fearing your prized cheese, revered biltong, or other forbidden culinary treasure would be discovered and confiscated.
12. You maintain a food blog. Or subscribe to a dozen of them.
Can you think of other signs that I missed? Please feel free to add them in the comments below.